Whats your story?

Have you noticed that there is one common denominator in all of your failed relationships?


This means that you are running an old story that is stopping you from moving forward and meeting the right person for you.

Our stories are formed in childhood and usually before the age of 7 and up to 12.  They are the way we interpret ourselves and the way we are treated by our parents.

The little girl that needs to be ‘good’ in order to loved grows up to be a people pleaser and will accept all sorts of bad behaviour in relationships. They will also act out playing the ‘good’ girl at the risk of putting their own needs aside and ultimately building resentment towards their partner resulting in friction and brake up.

The boy who grows up needing to fix things and make everything better for his parents has a story running that he must make everything in the relationship okay, being the one that must hold it together and if he does’nt then he has failed, resulting in severe feelings of failure and betrayal from partners.

How do you know you are in your story?  Usually you will have a constant upset about your partner and the thing that you want the most but you are not getting is the story.

If you let go of your story you become the adult you and can start to understand what’s running the show here.  The interesting thing is that we will naturally attract the partner that highlights our story.  The person that does not make us feel special, the guy or girl who is self- sufficient so that we feel unloved or not needed.

Breaking old patterns is much harder that you would ever believe yet I believe it’s our life’s work, if we crack it we are free to expand and do what we were meant to do here.  Imagine having no personal niggles with your partner, what could you do with all that extra energy?  Who else could you help or focus your attention on?

You will feel it in your body when you are in your story, you will feel like 12!!  Like a wounded child not getting their way and too timid to act on it.  So ask yourself how appropriate is it to be in a relationship with a 12 year old when you are thirty or forty something?

The double difficulty is that what you end up with is two children in a relationship together as everyone is running their story.

Let’s work together to smash our storey and write a new one!

Step one, write your story out and take a good look at it, feel the old familiarity and notice how you can see that it is no longer true!

Step two, write down your new story!

Take a good look at it, this my friend is your new mantra, jut for you, it’s the truth and its what will take you from child to adult and into your successful loving relationship.

You are loved

You are enough

You are more than capable

You are brilliant

You are intelligent

You are so worthy of all you desire

You are successful


With love

Jo Barnett

Dating and Relationship Coach


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