Dating is a minefield!

Dating is a minefield!

DATING in 2012 is a mine field that some would rather not navigate their way round.    It is easier to give up than jump in, both feet first.

The question is how can you best navigate that field and come out with the gold you are searching for rather than coals, and covered in black soot?

As the Connect Jewish Dating Co-ordinator and professional dating coach I will let you into the secrets of the hidden minefield of dating!  What men and women want but would never admit to on a date, how to get positive results and find your soul mate.

With old fashioned romance out of the window and hundreds of new apps on the phone, it takes about a month to arrange a phone call, and it is often too late to wait for the opposite sex to communicate, as by then one or both parties will have changed their mind or moved on to pastures new!

Yes it is harsh down in the mine; we are literally dating in the dark.  No one knowing what they are looking for, and scared that they might never find it.  With the right help by your side, your confidence can grow, and you will see that there are many lovely people in this minefield, just waiting to be rescued!  One to one dating coaching with a personal life coach is great for growing your self belief and enhancing your dating technique.

Firstly let’s look at what goes on in the man’s mind, when he is looking for a lady to date.  From my experience most men think they are looking for about twenty different attributes, from beauty and intelligence to success and adventure.  Often they will surprise themselves when they find that one special piece of gold that makes them feel warm inside, looked after, loved and accepted.  How often have you seen a very odd looking couple so deeply in love, one partner is very attractive the other not so.  Truth is, when a woman makes a man feel special, and holds herself in high esteem, he will forget about anyone else in the room.

The most successful daters are people who are looking to give part of themselves to someone else.  An example of this is taking the time out to listen to someone’s day, to go with when he has an errand to run, or to pick up her favourite food and cook it for dinner.  In fact dating is the opposite of what we are told, it’s all about the giving and not receiving.  When two people are trying their best to give the outcome is success.

While men have to learn to be givers, to get off the arm chair and turn off the sport, women really should be looking to move beyond the bubble they have created in their mind.  Girl meets boy, falls in love, fireworks soar, and they live happily ever after.  Of course you should have your happily ever after, but after, you have put in the effort. Then you will reap the rewards!  It’s like expecting to win the gold medal before you have even tried on your trainers and done the stretches.  So ladies, please put down the glossy mag, turn off your phone and pay REAL attention to your date.  Men want to be appreciated, show your appreciation for every little thing he does at the beginning; this will endear him to you.

Say the little things that make him feel like the man; ‘thank you so much for holding the door open, you are a true gent.’  When spoken to like this he will want to open every door for you, forever!

My advice for the men reading this; if you find yourself single and searching, put down your flash light and get connected to your heart.  Women are like diamonds, they need to be cherished, complimented and communicated with at all times!