If you are dating in 2024 you will have been on the receiving end or been the instigator of ghosting.

Let me explain ghosting and how you can find another way to move on without hurting someone’s feelings and behaving in such a rude way.

What ghosting means is that mid flow of speaking to someone you are potentially getting to know and or date, they suddenly disappear, never to be seen nor heard of again.

A more distressing version is when things seem to have been going well, you have had a few chats, even dates, perhaps a kiss and then just as you are about to plan your next date outfit you find yourself ghosted.

You know that you have been ghosted when the persons profile picture disappears and they are not receiving your messages.  I have had this done to me and it has left me baffled, had I not have had such a high self worth I would have been left feeling distressed and concerned about what I had done wrong.

Know that if you have been ghosted (blocked) on what’s app or social media, it is always about the person doing the ghosting and never about you.   You have done nothing wrong and in fact you were just trusting the words of the person you have enjoyed getting to know.

As far as your ghoster is concerned there could be a number of things going on for them, either they changed their mind and don’t have the decency to tell you in a kind way.  Or they have been multiple dating and some other offer has come along, either way you always deserve a polite explanation.

If you or someone you know is thinking about ghosting , please don’t, remember there are so many ways to politely detract from a connection, nothing warrants the need to just vanish with no explanation.

If anyone needs some polite ways to say ‘sorry I changed my mind’, here are some suggestions for you,

*Thank you for chatting and getting to know me, I feel like we are in different places and so I think it’s best to leave things here.

*I do not feel that I’m ready to commit to a relationship and want to be honest and upfront.

*I am going to take some time out of dating to work out what I really want.

*Although you are great and I have enjoyed getting to know you, its not totally what I am looking for, I don’t want to wast your time and hope you understand.

*Whilst this may still be painful to hear, its far less rude than just vanishing Please treat others with kindness, the world is a small place and karma always comes back.

With love

Jo Barnett

Dating Coach / Relationship Expert

London Coach

Author/ hypnotherapist

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