If you’ve ever stared at your phone wondering what to say after matching with someone, you’re not alone.
Starting a great conversation on a dating app can feel harder than it should, especially when it seems like every chat begins with the same few words:
“Hey.”
“How are you?”
Or the over used “You look nice.”

The problem? None of those openers spark real connection.
But with a few tweaks, you can easily stand out — and turn your matches into genuine, flowing conversations that people want to continue.

*Skip the small talk say something that shows your interest

Instead of a generic “Hi,” look for something personal in their profile that catches your attention. It could be a photo, a place they’ve been, or a hobby they love.
Mentioning  this instantly makes you more engaging.

Try:

“You play padel? I’ve just started, any tips for a beginner?”

These kinds of openers make it easy for the other person to respond and help you stand out from the sea of “Hey” messages.

*Keep it light and playful

Dating should feel fun, not like a job interview. Bring a bit of humour or curiosity into your opening line.
Playful questions help break the ice and create a relaxed, flirtatious tone.

You could try:

“If we were ordering cocktails right now, what would you pick?”

When you make someone smile in the first few lines, they’re much more likely to want to keep chatting.

*Avoid yes or no questions

Avoid yes or no questions and instead ask something that lets your match share more about themselves.
Questions that start with what, why, or tell me about help the conversation flow naturally.

For example:

“What’s something that always makes you laugh?”
“Tell me about the best weekend you’ve had recently.”

When people feel heard and understood, they open up and that’s when real connection begins.

Final thought

A great conversation doesn’t start with the perfect line — it starts with your energy. When you’re genuinely curious, kind, and playful, people feel it.
And that’s what makes them want to keep the conversation going… and see where it leads.

If you’d like to feel more confident and natural when dating, I can help.
Through personalised coaching, I’ll guide you to express your true self, connect authentically, and attract someone who’s right for you.

Book a Dating Coaching Session with Me and start creating real chemistry — both online and face to face

Jo Barnett

Dating Coach / Relationship Expert

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